Biblical Tenets in Christian Family Life 3
God has designed the family in such a
way that its participants will take up their responsibilities and roles to
fulfill the purpose for which it is established. These roles are defined and
clarified by God in the Bible through teachings, biographies, events and
illustrations. Let’s enumerate these and try to see to what extent it is seen
in our lives.
Role of a Husband:
·
Spiritual
and economic head: (Ephesians 5:23)
·
Leader
of the wife and the children: (1 Timothy 3:4)
·
Loving
the wife and making it felt and experienced (Ephesians 5:25-32/Colossians 3:20)
·
Live
with wife in understanding (1 Peter 3:7)
·
Be
a participative manager of your home and not an autocrat (1 Timothy 3:4)
·
Be
the main breadwinner except in unavoidable circumstances (Genesis 2:15;
3:17-19; 1 Timothy 5:8)
·
Honoring
the wife before God and man (1 Peter
3:7)
(Dear husband: To what extent do you fulfill these
roles that the Bible has given you?
Dear wife: To what extent are you helping your
husband to fulfill these roles and responsibilities in your family life? )
Role of a Wife:
·
Follow
the husband in all aspects of the family where the husband is appointed as head
and leader (Ephesians 5:24)
·
Willing
submission to husband (Ephesians 5:22-6:4; Colossians 3:18-21; 1 Peter 3:19)
·
Love
the husband unconditionally (Titus 2:3-5)
·
Respect
the husband in the heart and in public behavior (Ephesians 5:33)
·
Be
a true help-meet for the husband in all possible circumstances (Genesis 2:18)
·
Manage
the house to please God and your husband (1 Timothy 5:14)
·
Be
a loving guide and nurturing mother of the children physically, emotionally and
spiritually (Proverbs 6:20)
·
Help
your husband to build a team where you both and your children work together as
a witness to Gospel.
(Dear wife: To what extent do you fulfill these
roles that the Bible has given you?
Dear husband: To what extent are you helping your wife to fulfill these roles and
responsibilities in your family life? )
Parents’ Responsibility to their Children
Colossians 3:20/Ephesians 6:1-2
·
Children
must be trained in the nurture and admonition of the Lord Jesus Christ
(Ephesians 6:4)
·
It
is the responsibility of both the parents to teach and train their children;
the wife may get involved under the leadership of the husband in this ministry
(Colossians 3:20)
·
Children
must obey the parents and the Lord in all things – even when you don’t agree
and in spite of consequences (Ephesians 6:1-3; Colossians 3:20)
·
It
is a part of the Ten Commandments:
Children must respect their parents (Exodus 20:12)
·
It
is through obedience and submission that the children become a reward and a
heritage from the Lord to the parents (Psalms 127:3). Parents should help the
children to understand this truth and help fulfill it.
·
Parents,
remember: Children obey the ‘united’ parents (Ephesians 6:1): father leading
and mother guiding
·
Parents:
Don’t contradict or argue with each other in front of the children; you must
exhibit your unity in front of them
·
Parents:
Don’t allow the children to divide the parents for selfish reasons
·
Parents
may handle children:
·
Carefully
– because they are physically, emotionally and spiritually fragile
·
Positively
– because they live in a negative environment of this world which will
discourage them
·
Creatively
– lead them by using innovative and pleasing approaches
·
Scripturally
– by helping them to obey the commandments and approaches shown in the Bible.
You need to be example for them in this.
·
Lovingly
– by expressing love in conversation and actions
·
Respectfully
– by recognizing their individuality and capabilities
·
By
appreciating their talents and skills and build it up
·
By
showing them acceptance even when they face failures in life
·
Deal
without comparing them with your other children and others’ children
·
Avoid
public punishment or criticism to prevent embarrassment for the children
(handle discipline privately)
·
Handle
without showing partiality, favoritism or bias of any sort among your children
·
Let
children know that there is no appeal court at home – father and mother may handle
children in unity
·
Help
children to work with parents in innovative family projects
·
Give
children feedback through positive communication/interaction
·
Do
not cruelly tease children publicly or otherwise about their weaknesses and
failures
·
Do
not gossip about children to their siblings
·
Listen
to your children properly in all situations and give them opportunity to speak
·
Don’t
punish children for mistakes without proper investigation
·
Don’t
punish children when parents are angry
a. Teach children without assuming that
they learn on their own (Deuteronomy 6:4-9)
b. Disciplining children is a parental
positive responsibility (Ephesians 6:4). It involves teaching and training lovingly
to which children may be helped to respond with learning and obedience
(Proverbs 1:8 & 6:20)
c. When terms or standards of discipline
are violated, sufficient warnings may be issued. Positive punishment may follow only at that
stage. In the process, parents:
·
Should
not cause children to be discouraged (Ephesians 6:4)
·
Should
discipline children positively and for positive results (Hebrews 12:11)
·
Should
not embitter children through parental actions (Colossians 3:21)
·
Should
not cause crushing of children’s spirits
Children’s Responsibilities
·
Hear,
listen attentively and obey parents (Ephesians 6:1; Proverbs 1:8, 4:1, 10)
·
Honor
parents in their hearts and publicly (Ephesians 6:2)
·
Children
should not lose their reward through disobedience (Ephesians 6:3)
·
Do
not grieve and hurt your parents through disobedience (Genesis 26:34-35)
·
Children
may be encouraged to pray regularly for their parents
Result of obedience to parents
o
It
pleases parents (Colossians 3:20)
o
It
pleases God: 1 John 5:3 – a mark of love
o
It
has a reward (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1-3)
o
Obedience
leads to satisfaction for both parents and children (Acts. 8:39)
Parents need to be aware of the following hindrances in
children’s lives
o
They grow in a
rebellious, contemporary and secular culture
o
They are forced
to follow the modern education system which has elements of ungodly syllabus, ungodly
system of learning and unsaved teachers
o
School/College
Politics, and unspiritual moral and social culture
o
Possibility in
studying and working in places where there are no opportunity for Christian fellowship
which may be avoided as much as possible
o
Ungodly
peers/friends and classmates
o
Influence of the
Media: TV / Movies / Internet / Cell Phone / yellow journalism / secular
fiction / secular entertainment / imitation of celebrities
o
Craving to play or
overindulgence in watching sports and games and desire to imitate sports
heroes
o
Attraction
towards Wealth/Materialism and Worldliness and goals in life related to
amassing possession, position, prestige, prominence, privileges, popularity and
power and temptation to acquire it
o
Evil situations
or events around them
o
Worldliness and
the Vanity Fair
o
Fashion and dress
to promote the self or cause others to be tempted
o
Mind manipulation
through commercial advertisements
o
Influence of
Youth leaders with false teachings
o
Prompting of the
media to enhance self esteem and importance of the self
o
The attractions
of the Business world and its practices
How to make children obey?
o
Emulation
– set the best possible example for them to follow
o
Suggestion
– make powerful suggestions to help them to follow it willingly
o
Persuasion
– use love and affection, not bribery, and be a counselor to children
o
Coercion
– bend the children's hearts and will, but don’t break; be firm and friendly
(Dear Parents: To what
extent do you fulfill the roles given to you by the Bible towards your
children?
Dear Children: To what
extent do you help your parents to fulfill their responsibilities towards you?)
